tfw = two fucking weiners
I simply cannot
"When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog."
A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States. (via africandogontheprairie)
ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.
(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)